I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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