Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
