What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
my poor anus
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Randomize
