Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
