so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
