Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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