if you like me you must not know who I am
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
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