he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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