You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Randomize
