I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Randomize
