More tranny stories later!
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
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