we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
