people are starting to question the shark bite story
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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