She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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