I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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