It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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