i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
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