Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
