i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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