she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
being pregnant is like rehab
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
