i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize