so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
My penis needs a shock collar
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
