weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
