we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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