I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
whose parrot is this?
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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