There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
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