i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
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