They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
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You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
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I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize