how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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