Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
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