in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
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Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
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I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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