A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
