Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
