They should really pass out barf bags in church
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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