We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
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