the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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