garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for not boning my boss.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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