Non-Jews are for practice
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
