i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
