I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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