You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
