I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
you would pick up someone in the library
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Randomize
