hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
