ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
My pussy is not your playground.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
