I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
