let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
