Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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