chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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