have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
