There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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