Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
