google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Randomize
