I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
