He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Randomize
