Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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