I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
