About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
