There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
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I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
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Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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