Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
i came on her dog
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
