haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
