Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
