Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
