I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Randomize
