he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize