i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
What changed your mind?
Being sober
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Randomize
