i jhust puked up my retainher.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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